The other day I was at Wal-Mart minding my own business (isn't that how they all start). It was just going to be a quick in and out. I was on my way home from spending a few profitable hours at the library, there was a slight warmth in the air the kind that makes you dare to hope spring has once again triumphed over a long Wisconsin winter, and I was wearing a new pair of heels. My mission was to pick up the needed items for my Grandpa's birthday cake and a can of hairspray.
I successfully got the hairspray, eggs, and milk then started down aisle 9 The Baking aisle. It was slightly crowded but not terribly, there was the mother with the crying kid, the guy with the "wal-mart stare" and a very very large old guy on one of those mobile scooter things (graciously provided by the noble establishment for the service of half its customers and the detriment of the other half). He was loudly informing his wife that they needed Pam Spray and "No not the cheap off brand" he couldn't cook with that. And there I was amidst all this looking for the few things on my list when he turned to me and said
"And what are you looking for?" I remembering my manners and not really having any objection to talking to people replied
"Light Corn Syrup"
"Why do you need that?"
"I'm making a raspberry filling for a chocolate cake."
He replied "HmmmH I'm not much of a baker, but I can cook. But I can't cook without my Pam Spray"
I said a polite "Oh" accompanied with a smile and a nod as he then went on his way. Not thinking much about it I preceded on down my list to the aisle where the instant pudding (makes for a moister cake) and marshmallows are. When I heard the soft humm of those wal-mart scooters that we all know so well coming up behind m and the a familiar voice said "Oh there you are Hun I was looking for you" When I turned I was facing the Pam Spray Guy. I replied with a slightly surprised "Oh Yes?"
He then went on to tell me that he worked as cook for forty years, and thats why he could cook but not bake. Then Mr. Pam Spray Guy asked what I did for a living. I told him I worked at a Gluten Free Health food store.
He said "A what?"
So I repeated a little louder "A gluten free health food store"
"Uhhh, Oh, a health food store, I see hun thats why you look the way you do and I look the way I do."
Not knowing how to respond I just uttered another "Oh" with a smile and polite laugh.
He then said "Ok what I wanted to tell you is how to make the best caramel ever with just evaporated milk" At which I nodded respectfully to, and randomly throughout the "How To" that followed. When he was done I thanked him and said it sounded interesting. He said
"Have a nice day it was great talkin' ta ya hun. And then he scootered off on his merry way, that was the last I saw of the Pam Spray Guy and his scooter.
